Septic Tank Used as a Soakaway? Tips, tricks and information on how to spot rogue and cowboy builders and also a platform for you to post and warn others of cowboy builders you may have encountered and help to spread the word of their dodgy dealings

[CATALOGUEKID]

My builder has installed a plastic crate soakaway for my septic tank instead of a drainage field. He has also connected the rainwater guttering to empty into the septic tank...it was signed off by building control, how I do not know!?

I’ve had him back to look at it as it’s failing and my septic tank is overfilling and it’s very slowly backing up the drainpipes and the inspection pits are also filling up.

He has seen and agreed to rectify it by putting a drainage field in, however he keeps fobbing me off and won’t give me any date or rough estimate on when he will start the work

The worrying thing is, there is also significant damp spots in some of my window recesses that he has been promising to rectify for the last 2 years...

I’m worried this issue with my skeptic tank will be constantly fobbed off as well...

How and where do I start going down an official/legal route to get him to rectify these issues

Many thanks for any help and advice

[Hugh Schkok]

First find out how to make IED's and plant them around the garden where he may walk. Next learn how to shoot a Springfield AR71 sniper rifle just in case he makes a break for it and just wait inside your house. Point to the 'septic' from inside your house cover you ears and await the loud bang. He will be scattered over 3 or 4 postcodes and may require multiple headstones. Otherwise gently break it to him that he knows less about septic waste and surface water than you do about gynaecology.
Point 1 - Your septic tank has to be emptied when full of do do's. The design of septic tanks is they have several chambers within the heavy material + water is introduced into the first chamber and as it fills the 'water' component is raised over a weir into chamber two. Then as chamber one fills with do do's it is passed into chamber two ant the end of a three chamber septic tank thc wee wee is allowed to flow out to an area in your trees or a form of pee pee well and allowed to soak away into the ground. Err goes the need for a slope from your septic tank to the outlet. When its full of do do's call Mr TurdTaker and get him to suck out your tank knowing that is all that is left. If you were to allow some result of a sick minded student result an erroneous experiment to fill it with rain water then get him to drink it. It's not cheap to have a Turdtaker in and the last thing you need is to be paying for water that you pay handsomely for to water your garden. Bloody 'milk crate' what a schmuck!
Point 2 - Point 1 was so good that I don't need a point 2
Hugh

[CATALOGUEKID]

Lol thanks Hugh.....do you have a Springfield I can borrow?

By the way....I’m a Gynaecologist

[Hugh Schkok]

Any time my friend and as you being a gynaecologist. I always find one.
Good luck my friend and sent some piccys of any body parts you may have recovered from this tragic accident. As for the Springfield go to your local pub and simply ask if there;s anyone who has one for sale. You'll be tooled up by the last bell.